Afternoon all. There is next to nothing going on from an Arsenal perspective and the sun is shining invitingly outside the TremendArse newsroom, so I’m going to keep this brief and go get me some vitamin D.

Arsenal have agreed a fee of £10.9 million with Chelsea for Petr Cech according to Sky Sports News HQ sources. The Blues were reportedly angling for the full 11 million but the Gunners’ chief negotiator Dick Law managed to get a discount by promising that Arsene Wenger would never push Jose Mourinho around in public again.

What his west London counterparts didn’t notice however, was that Dick had his fingers crossed behind his back. Word has it that Arsene is planning to power slam Jose, right onto his spineless, shit-stirring back, when the two teams next meet.

Insiders claim, the boss will then haul him to his feet by his hair, unleash a flurry of blows to his mid-riff, before applying the full nelson hold, until the Chelsea boss is forced to apologise to all of football, for a decade of his incessant gob-shiterry. Arsene then plans to dust himself off before nonchalantly walking back to his dug-out. On the way, the fourth official will approach and ask him what on earth had just happened, to which he will receive the following response:

Honestly, I did not see it. It’s difficult to tell was it a red card or not. But most of the time it’s the guy who reacts who gets punished, not the the provocateur.

Yes, I’ve read this recently.

Moving on and Danny Welbeck has been speaking to Arsenal Player about his admiration of Arsenal’s all-time leading goalscorer Thierry Henry. He said:

It was hard because I was a United fan and we were playing against Arsenal, but it’s hard not to like Thierry Henry. That’s what was so special about him – fans from other teams had to love him because he was that good. At the time all the kids around my area liked Thierry Henry.

When I was watching the Premier League on TV I was seeing what Thierry Henry was doing and it’s just something that you can’t look away from. From then on, I enjoyed watching the way he played. I just loved the way he played, the way he scored goals, the way he played with the team.

Following Theo Walcott’s fine end to the last campaign, which saw him score four goals in the final two games from his favoured central striking position, and widespread calls for Arsenal to sign a a new ‘world class’ striker, it’s easy to overlook the possibility that at 24 years of age, Welbeck could potentially develop into the deadly, title-winning predator we would all like.

From Gonzalo Higuain to Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, Arsenal have been linked with virtually every allegedly top-draw forward realistically within our reach. And I wouldn’t necessarily be against a signing of that ilk – providing it was a genuine upgrade on what we already have.

Arsene’s track record in turning promising young strikers into consistent goalscorers is pretty damn good – provided the raw talent is there. And in Welbeck, it’s difficult to see an attribute he really lacks. Awareness, pace, presence, strength, touch, work-ethic, team-play, aerial ability – for me he has it all, albeit in varying degrees of refinement. His finishing is often criticized but that can improve drastically in a player and I’m not sure it’s as wayward as some would have you believe. His shooting technique looks great to me, perhaps its his accuracy and consistency or, consistency of accuracy even, that needs work. But that only comes with regular games.

I remember Arsene saying something along the lines of ‘give me some time’ when asked if he could help to transform Welbeck into a truly top-class forward. I wouldn’t bet against the former Man United man following in the footsteps of the likes of Anelka, Henry, Adebayor and Van Persie in becoming one of the world’s best strikers.

High hopes yes, but not at all outlandish in my opinion. And then of course, similar could be said of Theo, who does not possess as many attributes as Welbeck admittedly, but whose pace and movement, and probably now his finishing too, are a notch or two above his team-mate’s. Anyway, something to consider should we not sign a ready-made, Neymar-esque galactico.

In other news, the Daily Mail are reporting we’ve signed a Romanian 16 year-old called Vladimir Dragomir, who likens his own playing style to that of Toni Kroos – the only man in football to be a world champion three times in a calender year. The report comes complete with pictures of the young man appearing to sign his contract, flanked by Arsenal’s Law and either a family member or his agent I’m guessing.

I’m fully expecting the teenager’s management company to release a statement in the next few hours, denying the deal and informing us the player will announce any transfer news as soon as there is any.

And finally for today, reports from France suggest Lille want Yaya Sanogo on a season-long loan deal. Makes sense for all concerned to me.

Not as brief as I planned in the end. See, you never know what can happen.

Till tomorrow peeps.