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Reboot

Posted on by TremendArse

Welcome. As I’m sure not a single soul has noticed, posts here on TremendArse.com have been pretty scarce lately. And by ‘lately’, I mean since about 2016-ish, which makes them almost as rare as trophies won by Tottenham.

I say almost, because I have at least pushed the ‘publish’ button on an article or two over the last year or so, whereas that lot, have gone actual decades without securing silverware.

But for all those with a love of questionable football takes, and League One-level prose, you’ll be delighted to learn that my intention is to post with far greater frequency moving forward. So lets see how long I can maintain motivation to churn out whatever Arsenal-related thoughts my brain conceives, in this long-overdue, but completely un-called for, TremendArse reboot.

Soooooooooooo. Where to begin? Lets start with a quick summary of the season just past.

Going into it, I’ll admit I was a little underwhelmed with our transfer dealings over the summer. Gabriel Jesus and Oleksandr Zinchenko arrived from Manchester City, and William Saliba returned from his latest loan spell in France. (Matt Turner joined too, but clearly as a back-up to Aaron Ramsdale. So he doesn’t count.)

I liked the Jesus capture, but worried how many goals he could add. For me, he’d replace the departing Alexandre Lacazette’s squad role but we still needed to fill the Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang-sized goal-getting hole in our squad. Alexander Isak was my preferred striker signing but he’d landed at Newcastle. Elsewhere, I wanted Borna Sosa over Zinchenko – who to be honest, I didn’t really rate. I hadn’t watched him intently, but thought I knew what he was – an average athlete who was unremarkable in possession! Why were we signing him, other than he’d worked previously with Mikel? After all, our reported first-choice target was Lisandro Martinez, whilst Zinchenko was being eyed up by the likes of Everton. Boy was I off the mark on that one.

I was also far from convinced Saliba would stay beyond the close of the summer window, let alone be a starter. He’d looked very Calum Chambers-esque to me when I first YouTubed in the summer of in 2019 and pored over the clips of him playing for St Etienne. Wesley Fofana, his partner in central defence back then, seemed the more polished of the two. At the time, Saliba seemed very green as he turned out for for Les Verts (see what I did there). Understandable, given he was barely out of his nappies some might say, but still, he looked very raw, a little clumsy, and not quite in control of his frame.

It wasn’t really until Saliba showed some truly top class defending on loan at Marseille, showcasing blistering recovery pace and executing a well-timed tackle on Kylian Mbappe to thwart the through-on-goal PSG superstar, that I sat up and started to think we might have a player ready to compete for his place. I mean, our centre back pairing had seemed set in stone as Benjamin White and Gabriel, but if this kid could stay stride-for-stride with Kylian Mbappe in full flow, and dispossess him as cleanly as he did, well, what the sacré bleu did we have on our hands?! By fulltime on the opening night of the season at Selhurst Park, we’d begun to find out. By the time Saliba’s season was prematurely curtailed by a back injury in the middle of March this year, it had become apparent to all that Big Willy really was ‘the Mbappe of centre backs’ as he’d been dubbed by many, a generational talent who wouldn’t look out of place in any side in the world.

But back to last summer and from holy blue, to a bolt from the Porto blue, Fabio Vieira was signed out of nowhere, leaving lots of us I’m sure, immediately concerned about his physical readiness for the Premier League. As we saw snaps of Edu showing the Portuguese playmaker around London Colney on the official site, Vieira looked like a gentle gust of wind would send him sprawling. Or even just a passing glance from an opposing defender.

So I looked at our attacking options and despite fully expecting Bukayo Saka and Gabriel Martinelli to kick on, score more goals and grow more influential, I didn’t think we had enough. Two kids, a third in Eddie, a fourth in Emile Smith Rowe – if he could get fit – a far from prolific Jesus, and what else? Pepe had left too, or was about to.

Then came preseason, and as I stayed up late to watch us dismantle Chelsea, excitement grew, albeit tempered by a sense of caution that our performance wasn’t really informative, a mere fitness-finding exercise and not in any way a gauge as to how the two respective teams would fare in the forthcoming Premier League campaign.

In hindsight, that 4-0 score-line was a very telling result, as as we went on to record one of our best-ever Premier League points tallies, whilst they avoided a relegation scrap by the skin of their financially-doped, success-buying, history-lacking, transfer-target-gazumping, 9-year-contract-giving, bus-stop dwelling, 12th-place-finishing, Fat Frank re-hiring, nuts.

So where do we find ourselves now, with a fourth full season under Mikel Arteta’s command lying in wait? With arguably the most promising young squad in world football, that’s where. With our core of developing, but already title-contesting young guns tied to long-term contracts. Hopefully, the likes of captain Martin Odegaard and Saka-supplier White, will pen new deals soon, before we augment the squad with a sprinkling of stardust in the forthcoming transfer market.

Declan Rice, Moises Caicedo, and Mohamed Simakan would be nice for starters please, Edu. Maybe a Theo Hernandez, Armel Bella-Kotchap, Moussa Diaby, Joao Fleix, Victor Osimhen or Dusan Vlahovic thrown in for good measure too. Of course Kai Havertz seems to be in our sights and I definitely see the Robin van Persie comparisons, but is he THE one? Hmmmmm. Oh, and a couple of Brazilian starlets, more Martinelli than Marquinhos mind, wouldn’t go amiss.

So what should be another stellar season for Arsenal awaits, in which we’ll hopefully challenge for major silverware again, only this time the Champions League too. It’s a truly exciting time to be a Gooner right now. After years and years of drifting aimlessly and being also-rans, a new Arsenal golden age is firmly in the offing. I’ll try to cover it as best I can, here on TremendArse.com.

See you soon and COYG.

Emovere

Posted on by TremendArse

The latest science can’t definitively define human emotion. On Sunday, Luke Shaw became the latest left-back to show he can’t defend against Bukayo Saka.

While fullbacks up and down the country struggle to crack the Saka conundrum, fans watching Arsenal’s thrilling 3-2 win over Manchester United on Sunday could definitely describe a fair few of the former.

Hope, expectation, surprise, shock, relief, pride, JOY…there isn’t a comprehensive list of emotions apparently. The term derives from the Latin word “emovere”; a combination of the words “energy” and “motion”. But there is a definition of the name Bukayo in the Yoruba language: “adds joy”.

Our increasingly talismanic number seven certainly lived up to his label, with a display that left Arsenal fans bouncing, but poor Shaw dazed, and with no option but to acknowledge his opponent’s superiority after the game. Like a bloodied boxer who’s just been twelve rounds, taking a brutal beating throughout the bout.

I know him, I know how good he is. He’s an unbelievable player and still extremely young. He has a long, long way to go. But for me, at this moment in time, he’s world-class and if he can continue to be delivering week-in week out then he can reach the top.
The goal in the second half, he cut inside and I couldn’t get over to him and he got past Christian (Eriksen) and it was a great strike.

If Saka and Arsenal were good in the first half, they were the embodiment of emovere in the second. A red and white blur of ball-hoggers and ball-robbers, stirring panic and frustration in their opponents, and drawing a deafening din of approval from their followers in the stadium. Relentless, ruthless, and ultimately, following a short VAR-decision delay, league leaders by five points again. With a game in hand.

Yet United were far from pushovers, with Erik Ten Hag orchestrating the visitors’ game-plan and coming into this fixture off the back of a long unbeaten run. But Mikel Arteta’s Arsenal proved too good for them; Eddie Nketiah’s brace, either side of what Saka called his best goal in professional football to date, securing the win.

Despite starting the game in what has become a trademark fast-style this season, we were actually forced to come from a goal down to go into the interval on level terms. Marcus Rashford provided a stunning reminder of why he’s the closest thing to Kylian Mbappe this side of the Channel, with his sudden, sumptuous, shift-and-shot from outside the box giving United a shock lead after 17 minutes.

But Arsenal, like so often this season, didn’t need long to restore parity. A superb team move culminated in Granit Xhaka’s inviting left-wing cross being headed home by Eddie Nketiah at the back post. With England manager Gareth Southgate watching on from the stands, Eddie showcased the remarkable development to his all-round-game. All-game-long.

He scored two, could have had another couple, but for sharp defending and an instinctive David de Gea save, held the ball up, combined well, and then showed he’s got the pragmatism to go with the poachers’ instinct, by taking the ball to the corner flag to help run down the last few seconds of injury time, as United forlornly chased an equaliser.

We took just eight minutes to take the lead after the break. Granit Xhaka aggressively won back possession from Christian Eriksen, and the ball eventually found Saka in the right channel. He played a leisurely one-two with Takehiro Tomiyasu before leaving his marker floundering as he found the bottom corner with a vicious, low strike from outside the box. Two-one Arsenal and richly deserved. When we needed someone to step up and take centre stage, Saka obliged in emphatic fashion.

There was another shock United goal to come. Lisandro Martinez stooped to score an improvised header after Aaron Ramsdske failed to claim a corner cleanly. In the end though, the vertically-challenged Argentine simply gave United’s fans false hope because this Arsenal would simply not accept stalemate.

Substitute Leandro Trossard, on for Gabriel Martinelli, fed the roaming, rampaging, piss-taking whirlwind that is Oleksandr Zinchenko, to cross into a crowded box in the 89th minute. The ball broke loose for Eddie to deftly flick home the winner. Cue a VAR check and a nervous few moments, before Emirates Stadium erupted as the goal was cleared to stand.

Goodison Park in a fortnight is the next stop for Arteta’s Arsenal as they continue this unexpected assault on a first Premier League title since 2004. Can Saka be subdued? Will Arsenal keep winning? The answers will lie in the emovere at Everton.

Tierney turns tide in T*ttenham’s favour, as Arsenal fail to secure Top Four

Posted on by TremendArse

We started brightly, but faded quickly, after referee Paul Tierney awarded Sp*rs a 22nd-minute penalty more undeserving than a Juventus Scudetto-win in the Noughties.

A spot-kick award so dodgy, results involving Antonio Conte’s Siena side during the 2010-11 Serie B season, are made to look stainless by comparison.

Having done nothing as an attacking force up until that point, T*ttenham’s on-loan Swede, Dejan Kulusevski, drifted a ball from midway inside his own half, towards the far post. Cedric Soares and Rob Holding saw off Son Heung-min, as defenders combine to routinely, and legally, do all the time, in seeing the ball safely behind for a goal kick.

Except, calorie-enthusiast Tierney, pointed to the spot. For handball apparently, as his gesture immediately after blowing his whistle, signaled.

But there was no handball, just the softest penalty award you’ll ever see, for a slight nudge, we were eventually told, by Cedric (or maybe it was Holding, someone in the box anyway, might have been the ghost of the family-sized pack of Krispy Kremes Tierney devoured for his pre-match snack) on the seemingly pole-axed South Korean.

A decision so atrociously harsh on the visitors, that any sane observer, or any sane observer without any semblance of a professional or personal stake in protecting the perception that top-flight football on these shores could ever be anything but holier-than-thou honest, would be conspiracy-theorising their b*llocks off.

Inevitably, Harry Kane dispatched the ball into the net from the spot and drooled wheeled away in open-mouthed delight. One-nil Sp*rs.

But Tierney wasn’t done with his Toilet Bowl appeasement, and Son wasn’t done with his amateur dramatics.

When Holding blocked off the south Korean’s run, as he began to chase a ball so over-hit, Kylian Mbappe wouldn’t have reached it, Son went down clutching his face like he’d been on the receiving end of a sly elbow, a bit like the one he’d dished out to Holding minutes earlier.

Tottenham die-hard Tierney, couldn’t have produced a second yellow for Holding quick enough, as England captain Kane’s screams, jolted the unprofessionally-portly, gremlin-faced official into action.

With Arsenal still reeling from that Tierney-powered double whammy, Kane found himself free at the far post to head home his, and the hosts’, second from a Bentancur flick-on following a corner. Two goals down, a man light – game done.

We conceded the third moments after the break when Son poked home, a little surreally, with Mohamed Elneny appearing to shy away from committing to a block in our box.

Later in the half, Gabriel was substituted after suffering what looked like a hamstring strain, as a costly night saw us lose both starting centre-halves to injury and suspension, as well as the three points which would have secured Champions League qualification.

After the game, Mikel Arteta was visibly raging at the officiating but refused to elaborate when asked directly by Sky, saying only that he was unwilling to discuss the matter because he didn’t want to be banned for six months.

And he was right not to. What’s the point? Every single individual on the football gravy train, from ex-players, pundits and presenters, to radio hosts, journalists, bloggers and beyond, will publicly tow the party line – that Premier League football is irrefutably clean.

That it’s impervious to any semblance of corruption, despite the billions of pounds, euros and dollars at stake in the game, and related economies, like gambling and the various media outlets. Some will go a step further and contradict the undeniably obvious when analysing on-field incidents. Gaslighting at it’s most hideous.

Because if the English top-flight is somehow truly a bastion of integrity, as un-corroded by corruption as T*ttenham’s trophy cabinet is bereft of trophies, then refereeing standards in the Premier League have to improve dramatically. Or cynicism borne of inexplicable on-pitch injustices will only grow among the ultimate lifeblood of the sport. The fans.

On to Conte then, who in his post-match press conference, decided to urge his counterpart Arteta, to “complain less”.

Classic projection there from the Italian, clearly irked by the younger man’s immaculate, natural head of hair, while his own locks have been artificially induced like the results of too many Italian league fixtures over the last couple of decades.

Meanwhile, Sky rejoiced at the newly-prolonged race for top four, as Gary Neville reveled in Arsenal’s defeat. Probably because he’s still a little upset at how Arsenal, by the admission of Manchester United’s manager, ended his former side’s own top four hopes with a 3-1 win at Emirates Stadium a few weeks ago.

So Newcastle away next, and it’s a must-win game now. I can’t say I’m confident, but it’s still in our hands and this season has seen tangible progress for us as a team, and in terms of squad development, wherever we end up in the final table.

Thoughts on squad players Holding, Cedric and Elneny can wait for another day but in short, if we can upgrade them as squad options, we ought to as soon as possible.

Particularly Cedric, who seems to have to strain every sinew just to make a five-yard pass. Which he’d probably misplace. Before falling over.

Anyway, as always, f*ck T*ttenham and COYG.

28th May 2016: Ricardo Rodriguez and Duvan Zapata linked

Posted on by TremendArse

Saturday salutations. Another day, another couple of players linked with moves to Arsenal this summer.

This time it’s the turn of Wolfsburg left-back Ricardo Rodriguez, and Napoli’s Columbian striker Duvan Zapata. My initial thoughts on the two reports, leaving aside their accuracy for a second, are ‘do it’ for the former and ‘I’ll pass’ for the latter – not that I’ve seen an awful lot of either player.

As always with players I’ve seen little of live, my views are based on YouTube compilations, but whilst Rodriguez is a player who I think would not only replace Kieran Gibbs in our squad, given the England international’s been linked with a move away in recent months, he’d probably dislodge Nacho Monreal from our starting selection sooner rather than later.

With Zapata on the other hand, I’m undecided, but leaning towards labeling him a south American Christian Benteke. I think we can, and should be doing, a lot better with our striker budget. If we’re looking to raid Naples for a forward, Gonzalo Higuain or at a stretch, Lorenzo Insigne and Manolo Gabbiadini are the players Arsenal surely ought to be setting their sights on.

Moving on and Sir Alex Ferguson has been praising his former rival Arsene Wenger, calling the Frenchman “fantastic”. The Scot said:

(Wenger) has been fantastic. Now he gets a lot of criticism, but I admire that you’re not going to bend to the will of the critics. He stays with what he believes in. And I think people who do that are outstanding coaches. When you talk about consistency, Arsene’s never changed the way that his side has played. I think he inherited a team when he first came to Arsenal with Steve Bould and Martin Keown and Tony Adams – fantastic warriors – but his team evolved when they started getting players like Thierry Henry, Robert Pires, Emmanuel Petit and Sylvain Wiltord. There was a change in the culture of the team. They became a magnificent team. Arsene has never changed in the type of player he wants or the sort of play he wants. It’s always about penetration from runners off the ball, good passes into angles for the strikers.

Hmmm. I’m not quite so sure Arsene hasn’t changed in terms of the style of play of his teams and his prototype player. I mean for a start, we were always set up in a 4-4-2 formation in Arsene’s early years and have been some variant of 4-3-3 for years now.

What I would say is he’s always strived to set his teams up to play in a pass-and-move manner, but the reality has far-too-often been very different at times. It’s a widely-discussed point that Arsenal aren’t nearly as physically-imposing a team as we once were but then from a purest vantage-point, some of the best football we’ve played under Arsene wasn’t, in my opinion, played by the team of Henry, Vieira and co.

Our 1-0 win at San Siro in the 2007-2008 for instance, was a lesson in good football, handed out to the then reigning European champions on their own pitch. It’s a balance we need obviously, between the beautiful and the beastly. Hopefully this summer’s transfer market will be where we rediscover that elusive equilibrium.

Until tomorrow.

20th May 2016: Xhaxa deal inches closer

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Happy Friday everyone. Some very encouraging, if a little expected, news to begin with tonight because following months of speculation linking Granit Xhaka with a move to Arsenal, the BBC this evening report a deal is very close to completion.

The Swiss midfielder is 23, left-footed, and one of the Bundesliga’s finest defensive/box-box midfielders according to those who watch him regularly. The fact Borussia Monchengladbach made him captain at the start of the season just ended, suggests he’s quite the personality in the dressing room too, which if I’m honest, pleases me just as much as his quality passing, tackling and ball control did on my recent YouTube scouting mission.

That said, having two combustible characters in Xhaka and Jack Wilshere both playing in the same midfield won’t do much for our fair play rankings so it’s just as well I doubt they’ll be paired together in front of our defence too often. But speaking of Jack, that’s who I think Xhaka most resembles in our current squad as a player.

The latter’s definitely the more defensively-minded of the two, but the way they both drop their shoulder and drag the ball past opponents, pass accurately and can play the short-ball game brilliantly, makes them seem, at first glance anyway, very comparable midfielders to me.

Anyway, with Mesut Ozil a shoe-in again or the most advanced role of our midfield three next season, Xhaka’s capture would mean we could, in theory, play with three left-footers in the middle of the park at some stage – which would be the first time I can ever remember a team doing that. Just saying.

Moving on now and onto some words from Arsene Wenger, who in an interview with Arsenal Magazine published in May’s edition, discussed what he was like as a young man and manager. He said:

Look, I believe when I was young if I had one quality, it was that I could listen to people. I always tried to listen when people who were much older talked to me. All the people liked to be with me at the time, maybe because I had a certain respect. I always tried to think to myself ‘is this guy intelligent? He looks very intelligent. He’s 30 years older than I am, that means he has gone through things I will go through, so what can I learn from him?’ I had that kind of attitude 30 years ago. Usually when you are very young you are tempted to see older people as has-beens, but then afterwards you realise what he told you is true. So I tried to learn all the time. If I look back at the young coach I was, I would say to myself ‘are you sure that you want to go through all this again? Are you ready to suffer so much again, because it is the sacrifice of your life.’ I started when I was 33 years old, now I’m 66 so that’s 33 years of uninterrupted competitive football. That’s the only thing I would ask to this little boy, full of ambition and desire.

It really is an interesting read as the manager touches on the influence of the late Dutch great Johan Cruyff, French athletics, and the possibility of him one day sharing his managerial secrets in a book, so go take a look here if you haven’t already.

Right, that’ll do for tonight.

Until tomorrow.

19th May 2016: Seaman on Wenger + Cech on Rosicky

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Evening all. A very quick Thursday evening round-up for you and in tonight’s post we have a trio Arsenal players past and present discussing a variety of topics from life in London to life after Arsene Wenger.

First up it’s our legendary ex-goalkeeper David Seaman, who has revealed his admiration for his former manager Wenger but also suggested the club need to spend big in the transfer market this summer to appease unhappy fans. He said:

Arsenal had a good season. It wasn’t brilliant because we didn’t win anything, but to finish second is a great achievement. But there are still doubts – doubts over the manager and the team and whether it can push on. For me, Arsene is the best. I love the guy and I certainly don’t want to see him leave. I’ve worked with him and know how good he is. More and more fans are getting on the Wenger Out bandwagon and I’m just desperate for him to win the league again just to shut everybody up. I think the only way you would be able to stop the fan backlash is by signing top quality players. We need the finished article, not the young, up-and-coming guys. But what frightens me is that if the club don’t go out and buy these players in the summer, and Arsene does leave, where does that leave Arsenal? A lot of fans think the base that Arsene has set is the standard, but it won’t be. It will fall below that if we get a new manager in.

Meanwhile, Arsenal’s current number one Petr Cech, has been discussing the qualities of compatriot Tomas Rosicky and explaining why the midfielder will go down as one of the Czech Republic’s best-ever footballers. He told Arsenal Player:

He is one of the best-ever Czech players, and we have had so many great players. He is right among them. Every time you see him playing, you see what a brilliant player he is. Unfortunately for him, when he was on top of his form an injury always came. I have to say that is a credit to him because when he had a difficult time with injury he always managed to come back and every time he came back he was as good as he was before. It’s been a great journey for him personally in the national team, at Dortmund and at Arsenal. It’s just a shame that Arsenal couldn’t have him on the pitch more often because he is a really talented player. He is one of those players who is great to watch but also great to play with. Every time you give him the ball, something happens. He moves the game forward and never slows it down. He always creates something. He creates opportunities for everyone else and that is one of his main strengths. As soon as you give him the ball you know something is happening.

And finally, we have Mohamed Elneny, who in a wide-ranging  interview with Arsenal Magazine, has been talking about his home life in London and what he likes to do in his spare time. He said:

I’m delighted to be here in London. It’s a great city, despite the weather conditions that may not be perfect as they change all the time! But overall I’m very comfortable here and happy that my family have joined me now too. I enjoy staying home and spending time with my family. My son loves football so I am teaching him to become a footballer because he’s passionate about the game. If the weather is good, we like to go out for walks and explore the city.

That’s right, I have no thoughts on any of the above and yes, the three parts have no real link. It’s a round-up. Plus I’m too tired to think, so there.

See you on Friday folks.

18th May 2016: Au revoir again Mathieu

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Welcome back. Although there’s been plenty said and written about the departures of Mikel Arteta and Tomas Rosicky in recent days, Mathieu Flamini’s exit from the club has been noticeably low-key in comparison.

Unlike for the former duo, there are no interviews or commemorative compilations on the official site for the Frenchman for instance. But no matter, because TremendArse has a few farewell words for the two-time Gunner. Only a few mind, because it’s getting late and besides, I’m sure the billions Mathieu’s due to pocket from mass-producing levulinic acid will help him to get over the apparent dearth of public appreciation.

Probably the least naturally-gifted with a ball at his feet of our departing trio, Flamini made up for his relative lack of footballing ability through his extraordinary stamina levels, aggressive ball-winning and overall defensive doggedness – mainly in his first spell at the club between 2004 and 2008, admittedly.

In fact, in the 2007-2008 campaign, Flamini was a midfield force to be reckoned with, complimenting Cesc Fabregas’ game-controlling passing to brilliant effect as we led the Premier League table for most of the season and enjoyed a run to the quarter-finals of the Champions League, knocking out reigning champions AC Milan along the way.

Thinking back, only a cynical scythe by Steven Gerrard, which ended Flamini’s involvement in the second-leg of the quarter final at Anfield, stopped us from progressing to the semis, after a mesmeric opening 20-minute spell of football by Arsenal was built on the brilliant ball-nicking of the Frenchman. He was everywhere and Liverpool couldn’t handle him, until Gerrard cottoned on and decided to consciously injure a fellow pro. Still, I’ve moved on …

But back to Flamini and perhaps his muted farewell can, in part, be put down to his insistence on leaving the club in 2008 for Milan, after running down his contract having reportedly indicated he would extend his stay. That was seen by many as an unforgivable abandonment and it’s difficult to get away from the feeling his decision was driven by money rather than football. But then he did leave to join one of Europe’s traditional giants and being half-Italian himself must also have been a major motivator for his move to Milan.

Then came the comeback, in the summer of 2013, when most fans had expected a big-money defensive midfield signing to fill the hole left by Alexandre Song’s move to Barcelona, but instead we got Flamini, offered a contract having initially only been granted access to club facilities to work on his fitness after he left Italy as a free agent.

His second debut for Arsenal was memorable for the fact it came against Tottenham at Emirates stadium, and having entered the action as a substitute, he quickly made his presence known in typically robust style, barking orders, cajoling team-mates helping us to see out a narrow win.

Just like in his previous season as an Arsenal player six years earlier, we led the Premier League for long stretches of the season in 2013-14 and Flamini played a bigger part than many expected, diligently deputising for Mikel Arteta in partnering Aaron Ramsey and doing it pretty well in fairness. His goal at Cardiff that season certainly sticks out for me for example.

Then there was the bromance with Mesut Ozil and if nothing else, helping our record signing to settle in London is enough for me to view Flamini’s second spell as worth the wages. His two goals against Tottenham in the league cup this term will probably go down as the highlight of his second spell at the club but his penalty concession against Barcelona having just come on as sub earlier this year must have been the moment any chance of a contract extension disappeared for good.

So Flamini becomes the third experienced pro to part ways with the club this summer and although I think it will be pretty easy to replace their footballing qualities, we might find it a lot trickier to compensate for their character. Let’s hope not.

Until tomorrow.

17th May 2016: Farewell Tomas Rosicky

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Evening all. Having discussed Mikel Arteta in yesterday’s post, I’d like to focus today on another of our three departing players, Tomas Rosicky.

Signed in the summer of 2006 as a replacement for Villarreal-bound Robert Pires, the Czech’s capture was seen as quite a coup for the club at the time, particularly with Chelsea also being heavily linked with the player.

I’d first seen him in action playing against us for Sparta Prague at Highbury in 2000, when he capped a fine individual performance by scoring a brilliant solo goal, slaloming through our defence and burying a low shot past David Seaman. Impressed, I kept a eye on his career as he moved to Germany with Borussia Dortmund before we eventually made him a Gunner.

A decade on though, sadly his career with the club will be best remembered for his recurring and lengthy injury lay-offs more than his performances, but that’s not to say Tomas didn’t have some sublime moments in an Arsenal shirt.

I was still coming round from the anesthetic following a leg op when I got home and tuned in to see Rosicky score a screamer from about 3o yards against Hamburg in the 2006 Champions League, very early on in his Gunners’ career.

Having seen him produce a similar effort playing for his country in the World Cup a few weeks earlier, I remember thinking that I hadn’t quite appreciated how good his shooting from distance was until then – I’d always had him down as primarily a pass-and-mover and a dribbler.

Then there was a double at Anfield in an FA Cup game – the same one in which Thierry Henry destroyed Jamie Carragher if I remember right. In more recent years there’s been a few stunning strikes against Tottenham and in between I’m sure countless other bits of brilliance I’ve forgotten.

All of which is to say that even though I’m left feeling like I never saw nearly enough of Tomas in a Arsenal shirt these last ten years, and so can only imagine what he might have helped us achieve as a club had his body allowed him to play more often, I’m still thankful for the goals and guts (despite having a slight frame) he brought to the team over the years.

It’s hard for many fans to see him leave no doubt, and the midfielder has been discussing why he’ll find it just as difficult to wave goodbye to Arsenal. He said:

It was an amazing [reception from the fans] – if you spend 10 years somewhere it is really difficult as you are so attached to the club. It is unbelievable. It is very difficult to say goodbye after 10 years when you know everyone at the club. All the young English guys when I came here grew up alongside me, I have seen them since they were 16 years old basically – Jack, Theo, the Ox, Aaron and Kieran Gibbs, so many. I have seen them grow from little lads to the big players they are now and this makes me proud that I had an influence on their growth and education. That is why it is really difficult to leave.

I would say it’s time for that quintet to now really step up and show exactly how much they learned from an experienced pro like Rosicky, but I’m not sure how many of them will still be at the club by the start of next season, given Walcott, Oxlade-Chamberlain and Gibbs have been linked with moves away from Arsenal over the last couple of months.

But back to Tomas and unlike Arteta, I think the Czech may well have more football still in him. Whether that’s in England, back at his first club Sparta Prague or elsewhere remains to be seen, but one things for sure, if his new employers can help him to stay fit for any prelonged period of time, they’ll have a hell of a player at their disposal. Even at the age of 35.

Hodně štěstí Tomas !

Until tomorrow.

16th May 2016: Arteta bows out in familiar fashion

Posted on by TremendArse

Welcome to a brand new week on TremendArse. Amidst the Sp*rs-inspired amusement last night, I completely forgot to expand on Mikel Arteta’s strike against Aston Villa, so apologies. In my defence though, how often do events like yesterday’s at Emirates stadium and St James’ Park align so side-splittingly brilliantly? Exactly.

Anyway, despite the fact it will undoubtedly go down as an own goal after our departing Spaniard’s effort struck the crossbar before rebounding in off the back of the Villa keeper, I couldn’t help but immediately think back to Dennis Bergkamp Day at Highbury back in April 2006. Bear with me.

I was there that day and witnessed the Dutchman crown a fixture named in his honour by stepping off the substitute’s bench and producing a trademark curler to put us 3-1 up against West Brom, sealing three vital points in the process as we battled (successfully in the end) to pip Tottenham to fourth place that season.

Of course, Arteta won’t be held in nearly the esteem Bergkamp is by Arsenal fans because he wasn’t as good a player, didn’t win as many trophies with the club as Dennis did and was an Arsenal player for less than half the time the Dutchman was.

Yet when he wheeled away to celebrate our fourth having arrived late into the box to powerfully side-foot the ball goal-wards from an Alexis Sanchez pick-out, the feeling of fate being at play was palpable – just like that orange-tinged day at Highbury a decade ago.

Arteta may have divided opinion amongst Arsenal fans over the level of his footballing ability (and for me he was an effective antidote to the stinging loss of Cesc Fabregas from our midfield in the summer of 2011, but also a symbol of regression in terms of our team’s collective quality), but his character, professionalism and popularity amongst team-mates and staff at the club has never been in question. There were clearly some very good reasons he was chosen to captain the club and he’s been nothing short of an exemplary in his leadership.

There were some memorable goals along the way; long-range free-kicks and a winner against Manchester City, as well as a formidable partnership forged with Aaron Ramsey a few seasons ago as we led the Premier League table for most of the season.

But if last season suggested his time was up as a starter at Arsenal, this season rammed that fact home with few first-team appearances forthcoming for the midfielder and fewer still when he looked like the Arteta of old. Injuries clearly took their toll in the end but we should be thankful to the Spaniard for steadying our side with his natural authority and calm passing in our time of need some six years ago. So thank you Mikel.

And Arteta himself expressed his gratitude at having been an Arsenal player when he gave an emotional interview to Arsenal Player following yesterday’s game, saying:

It’s a day I will never forget, I can only thank everyone for how you have all behaved with me and my family in those magnificent five years. When you leave the club is when you see what you mean to people and how you feel about the club. My emotions and the way I feel about the people cannot be any better. I was very scared about this day because 99 per cent, that was my last game as a professional footballer. I can’t even talk. I feel very honoured to play for this club and captain this place. This club is class and once you are here you never forget it. It’s going to be hard for me to move on, but I really enjoyed today.

So did we Senor, so did we.

All that remains to be said I suppose is good luck with the coaching at City next season and if you really love Arsenal, tap up Sergio Aguero for us when you get there. Tell him all about the wonders of London Colney and life as a Gunner –  you’d go from loved to legendary in an instant …

Back tomorrow.

15th May 2016: Arsenal secure second as season ends in hilariously Sp*rsy style

Posted on by TremendArse

So against the odds, Arsenal finished the Premier League season as runners’ up after they beat Aston Villa 4-0 at Emirates stadium today and Tottenham got battered 5-1 up in Newcastle by ten men. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

All they needed was a draw against an already-relegated side to finish above us for the first time in decades but instead, they collapsed and in truth, having kept an eye on their match via Setanta Sports while watching a stream of ours, it could have been a much wider win-margin for the Geordies.

In the last portion of the game Newcastle, despite their numerical disadvantage, counter-attacked Tottenham relentlessly, wasting at least three or four very presentable chances. But I’ll take just the five goals, along with second place and the bragging rights over our neighbours for yet another season. Power shift my Ar*e.

As for our own match, the game at St James’ Park gave Emirates stadium a bit of a pantomime feel as every goal the Magpies put past Sp*rs was cheered wildly by the Arsenal fans, giving their own team a visible boost to their play in the process. Add sunshine and what was, in the end, a comfortable 4-0 win for the Gunners and what we had was a surprisingly uplifting end to an otherwise disappointing  season.

But it wasn’t all plain sailing despite Olivier Giroud heading us in front from Nacho Monreal’s cross after just five minutes. We allowed Villa to establish a foothold in the contest and fan irritation at our failure to extend our lead was audibly high. Especially when the visitors looked threatening and news filtered through that Tottenham had halved their two-goal, half-time deficit with half-an-hour still to play in both games.

But 13 minutes later, Newcastle scored again and with our crowd suddenly as loud and vociferous in urging the team on as I’ve heard all season, we grabbed a nerve-calming second goal five minutes after that. Mesut Ozil, as so often this season, was the architect, playing a brilliant one-two on the left before servicing Giroud’s near-post dart with a low cross. The Frenchman made it three goals in his last two games, expertly elevating the ball in finishing first-time, high into the far corner.

It was three and a hat-trick for Giroud just two minutes later when Hector Bellerin’s quite brilliant through-ball/cross was gleefully guided home by the striker. Meanwhile, things got better and better for us and Newcastle at St James’ Park. First Rolando Aarons volleyed home emphatically from a tight angle, before Daryl Janmaat (who I wouldn’t mind us signing as a back-up for Bellerin by the way) raced forward and rolled the ball past Hugo Lloris with effortless ease as the goalkeeper got his angles horribly wrong.

Our fans sang “it’s happened again”, Newcastle’s roared “Rafa Benitez, we want you to stay” and normal order in north London was restored. So as the dust settles, we can reflect on the second successive, final game of our season in which we’ve beaten Aston Villa 4-0 in London after last May’s FA Cup final success, and also the fact we’e ended the league campaign as runners’ up for the first time since the 2004/05 campaign when we were defending champions of course.

If nothing else, that’s tangible progress in Premier League terms and when you consider Manchester City ended the season in fourth (barring a cricket score in the Manchester United game against Bournemouth which will be rescheduled after being abandoned today), United in fifth, Liverpool down in eighth  and Chelsea a further two places behind that, I can’t help but feel criticism of the manager and players has again been a little premature and overblown in recent weeks.

But there’s plenty of time to have that debate over the next couple of months because for tonight at least, we can all laugh at Tottenham and at least try to savour the fact we’ve salvaged second from a season that at one stage threatened to see us drop out of the Champions League places altogether.

We’ve taken second and silver. With a little luck and the right signings this summer, hopefully we’ll be taking gold this time next year, by winning the league at what would be a lucky 13th attempt since our last crown.

See you next week.