Welcome all. The briefest of posts today, mainly because there is nothing to talk about and I’m feeling about as creative as James Milner.

In fact, I’ll start with a few bits of actual, real, hot off the press, ‘news’ to kick things off:

• A month’s worth of rain is to fall on the UK over the next two days, according to reports

From a life perspective, that’s pretty sh*t. But on the bright side, those clubs and managers who purposely instruct groundsmen not to water their pitches when Arsenal are in town will be gutted and slick passing shall prevail. Unlucky Alan.

• A chip shop in Lancashire has started serving a deep-fried battered milkshake

I don’t even know what that means. But Wayne Rooney and Luke Shaw will be drooling and delighted in equal measure.

• The launch of London’s night tube service will be delayed, it has been announced

Not really an inconvenience for me I must say, given how infrequently I use the network but I’m sure the news will come as a huge disappointment for millions. Get a car or go to sleep would be my advice.

• A man trying to impress women on a nightclub dance floor in Cardiff poos himself

That’s rather unfortunate and also pretty gross. It does however provide a lot of reputable outlets with a truly newsworthy story to share with the masses. And no, I didn’t link to it, your eyes will thank me.

Moving swiftly on and Mesut Ozil says Germany are a shining example to wider society of how people from different cultures can integrate and co-exist in a positive manner. Speaking to Arsenal Player, he said:

Integration is a difficult topic. The best example is the German national team because lots of people from other cultures come together and play with respect. That’s how it should be in general life. You should be open with one another, you should treat each other with respect. If that happened, things would look different, also in general.

And the 26 year old master passer also discussed his own ability to easily adapt to new countries and cultures, saying:

I’m the sort of person who can integrate quickly. I’m a normal person and people who know me know that I’m quite quiet and just like doing my thing. That was the case here, with the German national team and in my youth. For example, when I experienced things changing, like if I changed class at school, it wasn’t the case that I would worry about how I would cope not knowing anyone, it was the opposite. I was and still am very open when I meet people. It was like that at Arsenal too. When I joined the club, I knew some players from playing alongside them in the national team or at Werder Bremen. But in general, I enjoy being able to meet new people and experience new cultures. I lived in Spain and got to know the wonderful culture and people there. Now I’m in England, where I’m learning the language and the culture. I love what I do and I’m thankful that football helps me develop myself by learning new languages and different cultures. I’m proud of that.

Mesut’s words again bring to my mind at least, the issue of our domestically born players and, in 99.99 percent of cases, their unwillingness to experience foreign leagues and foreign living.

It’s a real shame because one solution to the supposed problem of a lack of opportunity for young British players because of the influx of overseas players to the Premier League, is staring them in the face, if only the’d be brave enough to get on a flight, perhaps forego some money in the short-term and enhance their game through international experience.

Til Thursday.