Hello and welcome back. Theo Walcott held a press conference while on international duty this afternoon and says he’s ‘buzzing’ after Sunday’s performance against Manchester United and wants to play centre-forward for England.

I know everyone would like to see me up front. Playing there for England, that’s what I want to do.

With the two Dannys, our own Welbeck and Liverpool’s Sturridge, not in the current Three Lions’ squad due to injury and caution respectively, Theo clearly has a greater chance of getting game-time through the middle than he would have otherwise. Whether England have the players capable, or willing, to provide Theo with the requisite service for him to be a success is another matter.

I say ‘capable’ because there’s no English midfielder with even half the creative ability of a Mesut Ozil or a Santi Cazorla, and ‘willing’ because I often get the impression that unlike other top countries, our national selection appear to be in competition with, rather than in alliance with one another. They all want to steal the show, hog the limelight, score the winner etc and very often that means they make the wrong decision when in possession.

Anyway, so long as Theo returns fit and healthy to face Watford on Saturday week, I couldn’t care less if he plays up front or in goal for England, because until we reassess what attributes we rate in a footballer as a country, we won’t be winning anything, so none of it matters. Qualify, don’t qualify – we have as much chance of lifting the Euros next summer as Newcastle do of winning the Premier League this season.

Elsewhere, Ozil has been speaking to German publication Bild about Arsenal’s upcoming Champions League clashes with Bayern Munich and the Gunners’ chances of winning the domestic title. He said:

It is true that there is a lot of pressure on us in the Champions League. We can beat Bayern, though, if we play at the same level as against Manchester United. I was a bit surprised to see Bayern beat Dortmund 5-1. Bayern’s results show that they are in great form. We have a lot of respect for Bayern, but we are not afraid of them. We are playing at home and we know how to score goals and be successful against Bayern. Of course, it will not be easy, but we have the potential to beat any team. We have a great team with a lot of world-class players. Our goal is to win the Premier League title. I think we can achieve it this season if we do not get any major injuries. But the season is still long.

Meanwhile, Ozil’s Arsenal colleague and fellow German Per Mertesacker has been discussing Arsenal’s attacking play in the United win, suggesting the players should be more convinced of their potential for such stunning football. He said:

It’s very important that they find each other in the final third. You could see the little pass from Theo Walcott to Mesut Ozil, how important that was, just a tiny little ball, and on the break we are very dangerous. The start was not shocking for us, I think we are capable of doing that, but we have to kind of remind ourselves that we can do such things.

Maybe one way of reminding themselves would be have the three goals from Sunday played on a loop in the changing rooms before every game but what’s also important to remember, is that the mesmeric quality of our football last weekend was all rooted in a collectively high level of effort. The harder you work, the luckier you get, or whatever the saying is.

Right, that’s where I’ll leave it for today because there is nothing else to talk about thanks to our old friend, Cloid. The lingering c*nt.

Til Thursday.