Lewandowski

24th July 2015: Lord Harris blabs ‘budget’ and striker target

Posted on by TremendArse

Welcome back. If you haven’t been in London today, then lucky you, because it’s been raining all day like John Terry’s face in Moscow in 2008. So much so in fact, that an Arsenal XI’s fixture against Boreham Wood scheduled for this evening has been called off.

On a a brighter note however, one of our club directors, Lord Harris, has hilariously decided he’s had quite enough of Arsenal’s undisclosed fees fetish. He’s tired of our insistence for sworn secrecy from other clubs and agents. And he’s had just about as much as he can take of our penchant for cloak-and-dagger transfer deals.

So he’s defiantly disclosed that not only do we have £200 million burning a big, fat striker shaped hole in our club coffers, but that we’re so minted, only Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi are beyond our financial reach.

He said:

We could go into the market and probably buy any player in the world, apart from half a dozen who are un-buyable. In the accounts, there’s over £200million in the bank. You could say to Arsene we’ve got no money and he wouldn’t worry, or you could give him £100m and he might not spend it. At the moment there are no plans to sign anyone, unless he finds a real superstar like Mesut Ozil or Alexis Sanchez. He’s looking for one of those but there aren’t many available. We would back him to break the club’s transfer record. If he wanted the man, he could have him. Apart from Messi and Ronaldo, he could have any player. We will probably have to break the club record to get the man he wants.

Arsene must have needed a couple of stiff Evians, followed by a lie down when he read that. Unsurprisingly, the boss was quick to back-track on Harris’ behalf when he spoke at his pre Emirates Cup press conference this morning, saying:

He has gone a bit overboard because that’s not true. We are in a situation – I explained many times – where we are working hard if an opportunity comes up to do something, but we are not in the need.

But Harris wasn’t satisfied simply by broadcasting the club’s bank balance. He also brazenly divulged that we’re hot on the heels of a new centre forward, one who is eager to make the switch to the Gunners, saying:

We get a list of the players that Wenger wants. On the list is a centre forward, but I’m not going to tell you who he is. You’ve got to get the other team to want to sell him, but I think he wants to come. It basically comes down to whether the other team can find a superstar to replace him, because they don’t have to sell.

Potential purchases in the striker’s department have already been discussed by most of the internet so far this window, and the consensus reached is that one of Karim Benzema, Edinson Cavani, Gonzalo Higuain, Zlatan Ibrahimovic or Robert Lewandowski must be the mystery target. I don’t think Alexandre Lacazette or Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang come close to that calibre if I’m honest.

Who is our mystery striker target?

Yet looking at those first five names, not one seems attainable. Karim Benzema’s agent insists his client is staying in Madrid, Napoli’s owner is said to wants silly money for Higuain, Lewandowski makes no sense, unless Pep Guardiola’s pining for a false nine, which leaves just the PSG duo.

Yet Ibrahimovic is clearly past his peak as he nears his mid-thirties, and although he’s rumoured to be for sale, a move back to Milan has been strongly mooted. So we’re left with Cavani but if the Swede leaves then surely PSG won’t also discard the Uruguayan? All that considered, I can exclusively reveal that no-one, especially me, has any f*cking idea who the man in question is most likely to be.

Elsewhere, with the Emirates Cup kicking off tomorrow, Arsene has revealed Wojciech Szczęsny won’t be involved as he’s close to a loan move to Roma, whilst Danny Welbeck and Mathieu Flamini will also miss out through injury.

A bit of a short one today but that’s your lot I’m afraid. I’ll be back tomorrow with some thoughts on our game against Lyon, plus the latest revelations from Lord Harris, in which he discusses how Arsenal are in advanced negotiations with Neymar about a sensational switch to north London.

See you then.

23rd July 2015: Wenger on Emirates Cup plus Lewandowski linked

Posted on by TremendArse

Evening all. As we approach the weekend and ready ourselves for this year’s installment of the Emirates Cup, Arsene Wenger has been telling Arsenal Player why he loves the competition like Wayne Rooney loves lard.

He said:

Personally I love the Emirates Cup because it’s competitive without having too much pressure on the games. It’s the first time that we reunite with our fans in our local stadium and I find that great. It’s always a sell-out, and gives opportunities to people who usually cannot come to watch the team. It is vital for preparation. The international players came back quite late on July 11, so when you think that they have less than four weeks to prepare for the first Premier League game, it’s very short. The Emirates Cup on a preparation front is very important.

The best thing about the annual tournament for me, is the fact Arsenal play on consecutive days – something that never happens otherwise. Second, is the chance to see new signings and the best of our academy players play without the extra nervousness that competitive fixtures induce. And third, depending on the invited teams of course, the opportunity to scout highly-rated opposing players at close quarters.

This year, from an Arsenal perspective, I’d love to see Wellington Silva finally don the red and white and also, Krystian Bielik, Dan Crowley, Gedion Zelalem plus our two young summer recruits from Lens.

As for the opposition, I’ll keep an eye out for the likes of Nabil Fekir, Samuel Umtiti and Alexandre Lacazette of Lyon, as well as Kevin de Bruyne, Ricardo Rodríguez and Luiz Gustavo (who by chance, happened to turn 27 today – we still need a DM) of Wolfsburg. But how could I forget the star attraction of the weekend, one half of that legendary reserves strike partnership with Arturo Lupoli – the irrepressible goalscoring machine that is, Nicklas Bendtner. Welcome home your Majesty.

Moving on and the boss has been a bit of a chatterbox today, also talking at length on various other subjects including his thoughts on retirement and Sir Alex Ferguson’s equine past-time. Here’s some of what he said:

Retirement? Yes, it crosses my mind sometimes but for no longer than five seconds because I panic a little bit. When we played at Man United, he [Alex Ferguson] came to meet me after the game. I said: ‘Come on, you don’t miss it?’ He says: ‘No.’ He had enough. He goes to every game. But he has horses. I have no horses. Enthusiasm? That is not a problem, honestly. I am more committed than ever for that. I just think the number of times you have done it doesn’t count. It is how much you love what you do that counts. And the love of what you do is not necessarily diminished by the number of times you’ve done it. Football is new every day. That’s a big quality. It makes you question. Because with every defeat people say: ‘What is this guy doing?’ Every three days you are questioned. You have an exam every three days. You have no way to look back. You have to prepare the next exam and come out of it with success. So it always demands 100% commitment. Of course [there were times I didn’t think we could win the league]. Why? Because when you lose your best players it is impossible. And see opponents strengthen their squad and they are already stronger than you. You just get into the top four because you managed to win and grab every single point and see others still strengthening and on top of that you are losing you’re best players, it is difficult to be convinced you can still win the league.

Wenger’s not ready to wave Arsenal goodbye just yet

Arsene also revealed how he’d love to see a Premier League landscape where each team was restricted to spending £100 million each year, so we could all “then see how good you are”.

Take that Jose Mourinho, Mr ‘I have to make do with my billion pound squad because I haven’t got as much money as the other top teams to buy an Eiffel Tower.’ I must have imagined Chelsea signing Rademal Falcao this summer then. And his club outspending everyone in existence this last decade and a bit.

It won’t happen of course, but how great would it be to see Mourinho forced to compete on a financially level playing field? He’s had blank cheques wherever he’s been after all. I’d wager he’d get found out faster than John Terry facing a pacy striker.

And finally for today, Bayern Munich’s Robert Lewandowski has become the latest big name striker to be linked with a move to the club this summer. Although the boss has admitted trying to sign the Pole in the past and is clearly on the lookout for a marquee forward, I can’t see Bayern letting him go at all.

Back on Friday folks.