Afternoon all. I hope everyone’s making the most of the stunning sunshine in England today. Because it probably won’t last. Unless you’re off to live in sunnier climes of course, like one of our players.

Although not yet confirmed by Arsenal.com, Lukas Podolski has has been presented as a Galatasaray player on a reported 3 year contract.

The German international immediately took to twitter to declare ‘I am a Lion’, as the Turkish side’s president revealed his club had chased Podolski’s signature for quite some time.

Speaking at Podolski’s unveiling, Dursun Aydin Ozbek said:

Podolski was a player we have been following for a long time. We have met the expectations of our fans. We think he will serve us for many years.

So we have the first big departure of the close-season and one which has been on the cards for quite some time. Poldi gets games and we free up squad space and some substantial wages for new signing/contract renewals etc. Win win. Not much more to say really, other than I hope one of the English clubs not named Arsenal get Gala in Europe, and our now former number nine scores a hatful.

Moving on and for those suffering from football withdrawal, there is the mouthwatering prospect of Chile v Argentina in the final of this year’s Copa America to look forward to tonight. Arsenal’s Alexis Sanchez will be hoping to help Chile to their first win in the competition, in what will be their fifth final.

I have to say I’m surprised at the lack of media attention over here for a tournament which showcases some of the best football and most skillful players the game has to offer. It’s always been this way from what I can remember, but it was this tournament which gave me a first glimpse of Ronaldinho’s abilities back in the late nineties – there is always scouting to be done for budding Steve Rowleys. These days, with a more globalised game, we’re far more familiar with the stars of south America so the relative lack of interest makes even less sense.

Anyway, it should be great game at the Estadio Nacional in Santiago, as Sanchez, Vidal and company swap step-overs with the likes of Messi, Aguero and Pastore. There are live streams all over the place if you don’t have Premier Sports.

And that’s all I have for you. See you on Sunday, when with a little creative license, the papers will have some tenuous Arsenal transfer links for me to comment on, in addition to what will hopefully be another match-winning performance from Sanchez in a major final.

¡Buena suerte! Alexis!

Laters.

Happy Friday all. I’ll start today with more from one of the breakout stars of last season’s Premier League – our very own, jet-heeled, cockney-Catalan, Hector Bellerin.

The former La Masia youngster, who nailed down the right back role last season, as Mathieu Debuchy spent prolonged periods on the sidelines through injury, has been reflecting on his debut campaign and in particular, his goal against Liverpool.

Speaking to Arsenal Player, he said:

I remember that we were all pretty pumped up in the warm-up. We knew it was a hard game, it was an important game, probably one of the most important games of the season. I remember there was a special atmosphere in the dressing room and we knew how much we were playing for. Everyone in the dressing room was so excited to play the game. Usually when I play I don’t think that much but when I saw that I had the chance to shoot, I shot. I could hear everyone standing up and cheering for the goal.

There were so many players between me and the goal that I couldn’t really see the ball. When I saw everyone standing up and cheering for the goal I couldn’t believe it. Did I really just score against Liverpool at home? It was a great feeling and the fans’ response to make us keep pushing so we got two more goals straight after was something that you feel. You feel the adrenaline that they give you and make you push forward. That’s one of the best feelings I’ve had in my career, scoring the first goal against Liverpool, at home at the Emirates. It was just amazing but the response from the fans and my team-mates made it even more amazing.

Looking back on that game, Bellerin’s goal was obviously vital to our victory. After our dominant, high-tempo start, Liverpool had come back strongly with Patrik Berger’s son Lazar Markovic, fluffing a great opening for the visitors when he over-hit a simple square pass to Raheem Sterling.

Thankfully, we survived and nearing half-time, Hector picked up the ball on the right, fooled the Liverpool defence with a brilliant body-swerve before curling home delightfully with his left peg. I remember thinking at the time, ‘would Bacary Sagna have had the composure and trust in his weaker foot to have scored that goal? Or any of the other right-backs we’ve had in recent years?’

The last one by my reckoning, would have been Lauren. But he would have spanked it inside the near post. The point being, for all of Sagna’s defensive grit, he never convinced in the opposition half and always looked cumbersome in possession. Bellerin by contrast, has the technical quality of a midfielder on the ball and is improving his defensive game all the time. Needless to say, Debuchy faces a real battle to win back his place in our staring line-up.

Moving on and Lukas Podolski’s agent has spoken about his client’s impending move to Galatasaray and revealed Arsene Wenger wanted the 30 year old to stay but couldn’t offer any guarantees over game time.

Nassim Touihri told Bild:

We had very good talks with Wenger. He wanted to keep Lukas, but couldn’t give him a guarantee that he will be starter. That’s why we agreed on a transfer.

Which is hardly surprising given the options available to the manager at the moment. This deal looks like it will be announced imminently, which will free up the number nine shirt nicely, for Yaya Sanogo.

Finally for today, five of Arsenal’s first seven top-flight games will be shown live on television in the upcoming campaign, after the club announced it had received notification of fixture rescheduling from the Premier League. Only the home game against Stoke and the trip to Leicester kick-off at 3pm on a Saturday before the start of October.

See you on Saturday peeps.

Evening all. A very quick one today and I’ll begin with reports from Turkey that a fee of just £1.75 million has been agreed with Galatasaray for the sale of Lukas Podolski.

That figure seems scandalously low to me, what with Podolski being a very good player and a World Cup winner and a social media expert – he’ll do wonders for their online image – but then what do I know.

Perhaps the loan fee we received from Inter Milan in January helped us to accept such a low sum or maybe just getting his substantial salary off our wage bill swung things. Whatever the reason though – and if the reports are accurate of course – it still grates when you remember Rickety Lambert cost Liverpool more than double that amount just a year ago. Rickie Lambert.

Moving on and Carl Jenkinson’s future is still unresolved despite strong reports of a £2 million loan having been agreed between Arsenal and Sunderland earlier this summer. Carl clearly didn’t fancy a move to Wearside though and today West Ham co-Chairman David Gold took to the airwaves to tell talkSPORT that the Hammers ‘are working very hard to try and get Carl back here’.

We’ll wait and see how that pans out but an agreement between the two clubs can’t be far off. There is of course the possibility that Arsene decides to keep Jenkinson this season, as he suggested in a press conference towards the end of last season. Yet with our depth in that particular department, I doubt that will be the case.

And speaking of right-backs, The Daily Telegraphs’s Jeremy Wilson dropped a clanger in a piece put online last night, mistakenly reporting that Mathieu Debuchy had been deemed surplus to requirements at Arsenal.

At the end of a report about Arsenal granting Abou Diaby permission to continue to use their training facilities despite his release, he listed several players who were allegedly up for sale. He named David Ospina, Podolski, Joel Campbell and then Debuchy. He soon corrected his error by tweeting that he had got the wrong Mathieu and actually meant Flamini. Yet that didn’t stop about a billion ‘Debuchy for sale’ articles from being written today.

Sticking with the right-sided full back theme and Hector Bellerin has been telling Arsenal Player how much he loves hearing his ‘song’ and why the club should be lauded for affording young players a platform to perform.

He said:

I remember the first time I heard it – we were playing QPR away. I started hearing something like Bellerin and I thought, ‘Is that really a song for me?’. And then they sang it. I couldn’t believe it. To play away at QPR and hear my song was amazing.

The away support is really strong at Arsenal and to hear that they’re cheering for you, singing your name, you can’t really ask for more. That was one of the highlights of my season. In the beginning when you start playing you hope that one day you will have your own song. Once that happened for the first time, it felt like everything had fallen into place and it was a great experience.

The fans rate that Arsenal don’t just buy players, they make them the players they are. Arsenal fans are really proud of that and I think that’s a great thing. When players like Francis, Jack or myself come up, the fans should be proud that their team is doing what they’re doing. That’s a great thing Arsenal do.

Finally for today,  Ainsley Maitland-Niles, our young Academy midfielder, has joined Ipswich Town on a season-long loan deal for the upcoming campaign. Good luck to him.

Till Friday.

Hello and welcome to a brand new month. First off, a quick apology for the lack of a post yesterday. I was half way through writing one, when I lost online access. My laptop said I had ‘limited’ service which actually translates as ‘no service at all.’

Just as I was about to call my provider, I learned that whilst doing a spot of gardening, my neighbour had severed the fibre optic cable in my front garden. Brilliant. Anyway, it was an honest mistake which has since been remedied and here I am. No harm done. Except to his electric hedge trimmer…

But back to the here and now, and indeed Tuesday’s there and then, and I’ll start with a few words from former Gunner David Seaman, who spoke to BBC Sport about Petr Cech and the two positions he feels we’re still lacking in.

He said:

He’s (Cech) part of the jigsaw that’s nearly finished. It’s not all about Cech. We still need a good centre-half and a Patrick Viera or Yaya Toure-like midfielder. But before, we were having to sell players – like Cesc Fabregas and Gael Clichy. The club’s now got stability and the finances to pay wages and big transfer fees. By bringing quality players in like Cech, that will be what we need to win the Premier League. He won’t want to come to Arsenal to be a number two. He’s got trophies behind him and I would say he’s bang in the prime of his career. He’s got at least another five or six years ahead of him.

The double, Double-winning ‘keeper then touched on how Cech would be missed at Stamford Bridge, saying:

I’m sure he will be (missed). He’s a character. He’s a confident speaker and when you see him out in public, he loves talking about goalkeeping. It’s a massive boost for Arsenal. It’s what they needed. He must have had a list as long as his arm of clubs to go to, so I’m so happy he chose Arsenal.

Onto potential departures and Lukas Podolski is reportedly closing in on a move to Galatasaray. I think he’ll benefit from a slower pace in the Turkish league and good luck to him.

From the beginning of his Arsenal career, Poldi seemed a player who’d lost a yard or five, from the fresh-faced, left-wing flyer who shone for Germany at the 2006 World Cup. He’d failed to make the grade at Bayern Munich and having enjoyed a fine campaign for Cologne, was brought in alongside Olivier Giroud, to help make up for the shortfall in goals following Robin van Persie’s sale.

And in his first season he did just that, finding the net a respectable 16 times in all competitions. But he played less and less over the following two seasons and despite still possessing what Arseblog hilariously described as ‘a left foot that could smash a ball up Superman’s arse’, he never quite had the all round game to cement a spot in the starting line-up. That said, if you look at his stats, he leaves with 31 goals from 55 starts overall, with 8 from 9 in the Champions League. Not bad at all.

Finally for today, a word or two on Abou Diaby who was officially announced as having been released by the club today. I think his career, destroyed as it was by injury before it had really begun, has been one of the great tragedies of our recent history. Of course many will point out that he’s picked up a handsome wage whilst not providing any output to help the club’s cause, but that is beside the point.

It’s not his attitude or his talent that have let him or us down. It’s a battered and bruised body, whose ultimately futile travails in regaining full fitness, can be traced back nine years to a ridiculous challenge by an opponent. There is a wider point to be made here, about our whole mindset as a nation, when it comes to how we evaluate the strengths of the footballers we produce.

Why do we for instance, value mindless, non-stop effort over intelligence? A discussion for another time maybe but a brighter mind may not have steamed in with such outrageous inaccuracy and inconsideration for a fellow pro, as that Sunderland player did that day in 2006. Or to put it in Arsene Wenger’s words when Eduardo was similarly injured at Birmingham two years later, “what was that player even doing on the pitch?”. It still hurts, all these years later.

Looking at his talent in isolation though, my view is that we’ve been robbed as football fans above all else, of a truly special talent. He had that rare ability to make it seem as though he was the older kid in the playground, dominating his younger counterparts – a combination of technical brilliance and extraordinary athleticism. I’ve only seen a handful of players possess that in my time following the game: Ruud Gullit, Patrick Vieira, Thierry Henry and most recently, Yaya Toure.

My hope is that he continues to train with the club and miraculously finds a way to overcome his injury troubles. Realistically though, retirement must be a real consideration for him at this point.

On that sobering note, I’m off to go do an impromptu ice bucket challenge – it is f*cking hot in London today – and see if I can find any of my neighbour’s garden tools to ‘misplace’.

See you tomorrow.

What a difference a year can make.

Last June, Arsenal’s fans had to endure the horrible sight of former fan favourite and club captain Cesc Fabregas, being paraded in the blue of Chelsea. Fast forward to 2015 and the tables were well and truly turned today, as we announced the signing of Petr Cech.

We all saw this coming of course, with his medical reported to have taken place last Friday. Yet for me, and I’m sure many others, there was always that lingering, nagging feeling that somehow, the deal would fall through. No more doubt now though. Cech is a Gunner.

In a statement on Arsenal.com, Arsene Wenger had this to say on his latest high-profile capture:

Petr Cech is a player that I have admired for a long time and I am very pleased that he has decided to join us. He has proven over many seasons that he is one of the outstanding keepers in the world and he will add great strength to our squad.

Whilst the ‘keeper himself made it clear he means business:

I’m really excited about joining Arsenal Football Club and can’t wait to join up for pre-season. I have the same commitment to football, the same motivation and the same hunger for success as I had at the beginning of my career, and I love the challenges brought by the top quality players you face while playing in the Premier League. When Arsène Wenger spoke to me about his ambitions for this club, and how he saw me as part of this team, the decision was clear.

Cech has also given his first interview as an Arsenal player, to er, Arsenal Player. In it, as Arsenal.com editor Chris Harris poses the questions, Cech discusses his ambitions with his new club and reveals how he is reinvigorated by being a reserve last season.

But the most pleasing part for me, which echoed Mesut Ozil’s words when he joined in 2013, was him telling us how Wenger assured him Arsenal had great aspirations moving forward.

He said:

I had a good chat with him and it was the first time after the club approached me that I could speak to him in private for such a long time. He made me believe that this was the right step and that this is the club with a lot of ambition.

I have a lot of personal motivation and ambition and the club definitely matches it. It is an exciting time for me, it is a project where Arsenal fans and the club have been waiting for the Premier League title and this is a chance for me to bring my experience and my little extra to the team and we can possibly achieve that.

After so many debt-ridden years, constrained by the shackles of building a spanking new stadium unaided by the wealth of some altruistic Abramovich-esque figure, we’ve ridden the storm and we’re sailing with the sun rising and the promised land in sight.

To top it off, for those fond of a spot of Chelsea-baiting, their manager wanted to keep Cech. Ours said ‘no thanks Cesc.’

Till Tuesday.

Afternoon all. I want to touch on the Arturo Vidal links today, seeing as they continue to pin-ball off media publications and twitter feeds, like precise passes off Santi Cazorla’s ambidextrous in-steps.

The transfer-rumour-untangling masters over at Sport Witness, had this to say on the matter of the Chilean’s alleged move to the Gunners back in May and revisited the story yesterday morning. Both are well worth a read and clinically decipher the drivel from the dubious.

Their first post suggests a common case of chinese whispers and when considered alongside Arsene Wenger’s words after our FA Cup Final win last month, when he said: “We have good midfielders, and at the moment we are not looking at Arturo Vidal”, there seems little chance of a move materialising.

Yet the caveat in that quote is clearly ‘at the moment’ and the question was only posed to him following reports of the presence of Vidal’s agent at Wembley that day. Sport Witness’ latest offering reads far more hopeful for those wishing for the Juventus man’s signing. Their main issue with regards to validity, is the likelyhood of Wenger spending around £20 million on a player who turned 28 in May.

Incidentally, that has been my view all along – it would be very unlike the manager to spend relatively extravagantly on someone of that age. Particularly when, as he said himself, we are so well-stocked in central midfield.

But that aside, we have seen a tangible change in tact from the club in the last two years and dare I say it, a refreshingly ruthless streak when making room to reinforce the squad. David Ospina will, in all probability, make way for Petr Cech and it would not be surprising to see one or both of Mikel Arteta and Mathieu Flamini being moved on to accommodate Vidal.

I think it’s fair to suggest that Vidal, irrespective of being a ‘different type’ of player to either of those two, would be a huge upgrade quality-wise. His belligerent, non-stop play, combined with a downright nasty streak, reminds me a little of Gennaro Gattuso – only with more goals.

The fact he’s currently a ‘number 8’ or a ‘box-to-box’ midfielder does not mean he cannot be successful in a deeper, destroying role at Arsenal. After all, Arsene deploys Arteta in a Xabi Alonso-esque position despite him being stationed further up the pitch while at Everton. Whatever your views of his talents and off-field controversies though, he usually tends to ‘bust his balls’ for the collective cause – as Sanchez recently demanded he do for Chile.

Anyway, I’m getting a little carried away here, what with there being nothing else to talk about Arsenal-wise today. It’s probably all nonsense. Yet that hasn’t stopped Harry Kane’s favourite player and Arsenal legend Freddie Ljungberg from revealing his views on Vidal when he spoke to Sport360.com recently.

He said:

There were some rumours about Vidal, a great player, and he gets fuming if he loses the ball, so I like that. That kind of player would be great for the club. Look at Sanchez. After the World Cup in South Africa I said I wanted us to buy him, when he was at Udinese. He is quality but he also works hard as well. He has speed. When he loses the ball he still fights for it and that’s what I like to see.

Freddie then went on to big up Arsenal’s title hopes. You can read the full quotes from his interview here.

Right. That’s that for today. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday. Hopefully a certain Czech will pop up on Arsenal.com adorned in red and white tomorrow, to give us all a boost at the start of another working week.

See you then.

Happy Saturday all. If you’re in London, log off now and go outside. The weather’s lovely. Plus I really don’t have an awful lot for you.

Petr Cech’s transfer in reportedly set to be announced on Monday. In the increasingly unlikely event it is not, we can at least console ourselves with the superb performance of David Ospina in the Copa America early this morning.

Columbia eventually went out on penalties to Argentina after a goalless draw and only made it that far, thanks to inspired ‘keeping from the man who ended last season’s league campaign as Arsenal’s number one.

In front of a really raucious set of Columbia fans, who adopted our Oooooooospina! chant throughout the contest, the 26 year old produced a jaw-dropping double save in the first half, to first deny Sergio Aguero and then Lionel Messi from point-blank range. Truly astonishing stuff.

And although he had a couple of heart-in-mouth moments with the ball at his feet, he also produced another great save in the second period, diving sharply down to his left to deflect a low, driven effort onto the post. Again, top notch net guarding indeed. And as so often for us last season, for the most part the former Nice man exuded a welcome sense of calm in his defence, amidst a Messi-inspired Argentine onslaught.

Standing at just over six feet, Ospina admittedly doesn’t ‘fill’ a goal like many would like from their goalkeeper but from what I’ve seen from him these last twelve months, he doesn’t do a lot wrong. If the Fenerbache move does materialise, as looks likely, it will be weird seeing him depart so soon. That said, Cech is by all accounts an upgrade, so sentiments aside, moving him on is clearly the right thing for Arsenal to do if Ospina refuses to resume the role of number two.

But back to the game and naturally, I was hoping for more of the same from our ‘keeper in the shootout because his performance was deserving of him being on the winning side. But it wasn’t to be and Carlos Tevez eventually scored the decisive spot kick to take Argentina into the last four.

Lastly, there are some quotes from Chelsea ‘keepers coach Christophe Lollichon floating around, which suggest Chelsea may not allow him to follow Cech to Arsenal.

He told L’Equipe:

For now, it does not matter. No contact has been made. I do not know if this has been discussed between the two clubs, but I do not think Chelsea will be favourable.

Meh.

See you tommorow.

So Petr Cech is reportedly undergoing his medical ahead of a £10.9 million move from Chelsea.

Right about now, he’ll be partaking in some gentle knee flexion and extension drills, as club doctors and physios frantically race to give him the once over before Roman Abramovich changes his mind.

My sources reliably inform me that Cech passed ECG and isokinetic tests with distinction this morning, and now has just one final – albeit crucial – round of testing to go. It involves him being delicately induced into a state of hypnosis, before being repeatedly asked what he thinks of Tottenham. He’ll be questioned one hundred times in total and if he can manage a score of ninety or more shits, he’s good to go. (Jack scored 408 during his testing)

So the transfer crawls ever closer but still remains incomplete. I would say it’s getting boring but it gives me something to write about in these barren footballing months, so I can’t complain. Something I haven’t seen written much about, or indeed have brought up myself until now, is the kind of qualities Cech will bring aside from his goalkeeping.

Bob Wilson pointed out how Wojciech Szczesny will benefit from working alongside such a world-class ‘keeper but of more, immediate significance I think, is the winning mentality and vocal on and off-pitch leadership Cech will bring to this Arsenal side.

Qualities such as these can never be over-woven into the fabric of a trophy-winning team. Perhaps it was in large part due to the age of the sides we built and rebuilt between 2004 and now, but we’ve lacked that all-important winning mindset for far too long. The talent has always been there, but to be brutally honest, we’ve lacked balls.

With the signing of Alexis Sanchez, the revival of Francis Coquelin’s career and the development of Jack Wilshere in particular, we’ve remedied that emphatically. In fact, taking a look around the squad, you’ll struggle to find many who don’t look up for the fight these days. Even Theo Walcott, arguably the most timid player I’ve ever seen, has the bit between his teeth when he takes the field now.

Back to ‘news’ and Wilshere is the latest to speak with Arsenal Player. Jack talks pre-season preparations and recalls the moment he knew he’s arrived as a first-team Arsenal player.

He said:

We used to go to Austria after training at London Colney for two weeks. There was always loads of young players training for the first couple of weeks and then if you made the Austria trip you thought, ‘Okay, this is where it really starts’. I was only 16 so I didn’t expect to make it. There were 18 year olds around me but I got on the trip.

It went from there really. We played a couple of games, I scored a couple of goals, and then we came back and I was involved in the Emirates Cup. I was thinking, ‘Oh my God I’m going to play at the Emirates in front of 60,000’. I started the first game – I didn’t expect to play any part in it – and then after that it was club day and I remember the boss asking me which number I would like, 18 or 19. That’s when I knew I was going to be involved in the squad.

I have to say I love Jack. He’s a little over-zealous at times and he needs to keep fit obviously, and I’m still not really sure where he fits into the team at the moment, but as I alluded to in a previous post recently, he’s got the talent and the personality to captain this club in the not too distant future.

Right, a quick check of Arsenal.com shows no confirmation of Cech yet. They’ll no doubt be bringing him round and tallying up his answers any minute now.

See you on Sat.

Evening all. The weather’s warming up nicely here in London and with the official opening of this summer’s transfer window on Wednesday, I’m fully expecting the market to do likewise.

Several deals have already been announced by various clubs of course, with Liverpool in particular, striving to sign every professional footballer they’ve ever heard of.

Arsenal on the other hand, have been linked with every professional footballer you’ve ever heard of. It’s quite nice in a way, after so many summers of other clubs (I’m looking at you Barcelona) casting their beady eyes over our own, most prized possessions, to be confident of keeping our best players.

Well it was anyway, until France-based football writer Matt Spiro brought to our attention a report from France Football, in which it’s claimed Real Madrid are making eyes at the Gunners’ hybrid of Franz Beckenbauer and Bart Simpson – Laurent ‘never lost a tackle’ Koscielny. Or in the words of the report itself, ‘continue to move forward on the issue discreetly’. Which is a bid odd, considering they also mention Mundo Deportivo linked Madrid with the player earlier this month.

Anyway, I’m dismissing the link as bullshit, based purely on Sergio Ramos’ on-going contractual posturing with the Spanish side. But If there does turn out to be any real substance to the story, I would hope Arsene will tell Madrid where to go. Selling our best defender simply should not be an option at this stage of our development. In fact, at any stage, if we are truly serious about winning the biggest prizes.

Onto potential signings, and as reported defensive midfield targets dwindle like Cesc Fabregas assists after Christmas, one man still standing, is Southampton’s Morgan Schneiderlin. The France international caused quite a stir last summer with his desire to leave St Mary’s, and having also been linked with Tottenham and Man United, has now revealed he hopes to determine his future ‘in the coming days‘. This comes just as bookies cut the odds on him becoming a Gunner. Make of that what you will.

In other, actual football news, AleXis Sanchez played the full ninety as hosts Chile beat Uruguay 1-0 to progress to the semi finals of the Copa America in the early hours of this morning. A bad-tempered affair, in which Chile enjoyed a mammoth 80 percent of the possession, saw both Edinson Cavani and Jorge Fucile sent off for Uruguay and was settled by a goal from Mauricio Isla after 81 minutes. Chile will now play either Peru or Bolivia in the last four on Monday. I saw the whole game and by his standards, Sanchez was very quiet for the most part. Saving himself for Arsenal, obviously.

And finally for today, Carl Jenkinson, rumoured to be close to securing a second, successive, season-long loan deal with West Ham, played the whole game as England Under 21s crashed out of the Euros with a 3-1 loss to Italy. Calum Chambers was an unused sub for the third game in a row.

Back tomorrow.

Afternoon all. There is next to nothing going on from an Arsenal perspective and the sun is shining invitingly outside the TremendArse newsroom, so I’m going to keep this brief and go get me some vitamin D.

Arsenal have agreed a fee of £10.9 million with Chelsea for Petr Cech according to Sky Sports News HQ sources. The Blues were reportedly angling for the full 11 million but the Gunners’ chief negotiator Dick Law managed to get a discount by promising that Arsene Wenger would never push Jose Mourinho around in public again.

What his west London counterparts didn’t notice however, was that Dick had his fingers crossed behind his back. Word has it that Arsene is planning to power slam Jose, right onto his spineless, shit-stirring back, when the two teams next meet.

Insiders claim, the boss will then haul him to his feet by his hair, unleash a flurry of blows to his mid-riff, before applying the full nelson hold, until the Chelsea boss is forced to apologise to all of football, for a decade of his incessant gob-shiterry. Arsene then plans to dust himself off before nonchalantly walking back to his dug-out. On the way, the fourth official will approach and ask him what on earth had just happened, to which he will receive the following response:

Honestly, I did not see it. It’s difficult to tell was it a red card or not. But most of the time it’s the guy who reacts who gets punished, not the the provocateur.

Yes, I’ve read this recently.

Moving on and Danny Welbeck has been speaking to Arsenal Player about his admiration of Arsenal’s all-time leading goalscorer Thierry Henry. He said:

It was hard because I was a United fan and we were playing against Arsenal, but it’s hard not to like Thierry Henry. That’s what was so special about him – fans from other teams had to love him because he was that good. At the time all the kids around my area liked Thierry Henry.

When I was watching the Premier League on TV I was seeing what Thierry Henry was doing and it’s just something that you can’t look away from. From then on, I enjoyed watching the way he played. I just loved the way he played, the way he scored goals, the way he played with the team.

Following Theo Walcott’s fine end to the last campaign, which saw him score four goals in the final two games from his favoured central striking position, and widespread calls for Arsenal to sign a a new ‘world class’ striker, it’s easy to overlook the possibility that at 24 years of age, Welbeck could potentially develop into the deadly, title-winning predator we would all like.

From Gonzalo Higuain to Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, Arsenal have been linked with virtually every allegedly top-draw forward realistically within our reach. And I wouldn’t necessarily be against a signing of that ilk – providing it was a genuine upgrade on what we already have.

Arsene’s track record in turning promising young strikers into consistent goalscorers is pretty damn good – provided the raw talent is there. And in Welbeck, it’s difficult to see an attribute he really lacks. Awareness, pace, presence, strength, touch, work-ethic, team-play, aerial ability – for me he has it all, albeit in varying degrees of refinement. His finishing is often criticized but that can improve drastically in a player and I’m not sure it’s as wayward as some would have you believe. His shooting technique looks great to me, perhaps its his accuracy and consistency or, consistency of accuracy even, that needs work. But that only comes with regular games.

I remember Arsene saying something along the lines of ‘give me some time’ when asked if he could help to transform Welbeck into a truly top-class forward. I wouldn’t bet against the former Man United man following in the footsteps of the likes of Anelka, Henry, Adebayor and Van Persie in becoming one of the world’s best strikers.

High hopes yes, but not at all outlandish in my opinion. And then of course, similar could be said of Theo, who does not possess as many attributes as Welbeck admittedly, but whose pace and movement, and probably now his finishing too, are a notch or two above his team-mate’s. Anyway, something to consider should we not sign a ready-made, Neymar-esque galactico.

In other news, the Daily Mail are reporting we’ve signed a Romanian 16 year-old called Vladimir Dragomir, who likens his own playing style to that of Toni Kroos – the only man in football to be a world champion three times in a calender year. The report comes complete with pictures of the young man appearing to sign his contract, flanked by Arsenal’s Law and either a family member or his agent I’m guessing.

I’m fully expecting the teenager’s management company to release a statement in the next few hours, denying the deal and informing us the player will announce any transfer news as soon as there is any.

And finally for today, reports from France suggest Lille want Yaya Sanogo on a season-long loan deal. Makes sense for all concerned to me.

Not as brief as I planned in the end. See, you never know what can happen.

Till tomorrow peeps.